Resources

Begin the obituary with a statement that highlights basic facts about your loved one, including their full name (first, middle, and last names, maiden name, nickname, and suffixes like Jr. or Sr.), where they lived, age, date and place of death, and how they died. You can present this information in a straightforward, factual way, or more uniquely.

And there are many ways to say that someone has “died” (“departed,” “passed away,” “went to be with her Lord,” and “entered eternal rest” are some of the most common), so choose the expression you prefer. 

Traditional obituary samples: 

“HINKLE, OZELL STERLING, age 79 of Cullman, passed away November 9, 2006…” Read more

“Jean Frances Breland Campbell, age 90, of Tuscaloosa, Alabama died August 30, 2018, in her hometown…” Read more

“Margaret Bunting Wyman Tent, mathematics teacher and author, died on September 20, 2014, at Kline Hospice House, Mt. Airy from inflammatory breast cancer…” Read more

These obituaries examples are more unique:

“Terry Wayne Ward, age 71, of DeMotte, IN, escaped this mortal realm on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2018, leaving behind 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse…” Read more

“Robert Clyde Drew, beloved husband, father, and Papa, drew his last breath January 25, 2018, mainly, we suspect, to prevent himself from having to watch the Patriots and Eagles in the Superbowl.” Read more

“Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years-long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer…” Read more

There are many reasons to include cause of death in the obituary: to inform the community, to acknowledge your loved one’s battle with illness, to raise awareness about a disease, or simply to reduce the number of times you are asked “How did he die?” That said, some families are not comfortable sharing this information. Do what is best for you and your family. 

An obituary does more than simply announce a death — an obituary tells us something about a person’s life. Most people go their whole lives without their life story being written. An obituary is the place where we do them justice and record their memory to live on forever. If appropriate, don’t be afraid to have a sense of humor!

That said, an obituary doesn’t need to be a complete biography. You can hit the highlights of your loved one’s life story, share a favorite memory, talk about what was important to them and/or what about them you will miss the most. 

Biographical information you may wish to include in the obituary:

• Date and place of birth, marriage, and death

• Hometown, places lived

• Schools attended, degrees earned

• Places of employment and positions held

• Military service and rank

• Membership in organizations

• Place of worship

• Hobbies or special interests

Most obituaries name surviving family members of the person passing as well as those who died previously. Deciding whom to include in the obituary can be difficult. Start with next of kin (spouse or partner, parents, children, siblings, grandparents and grandchildren) and list individually by name or group together as needed (e.g. “five grandchildren and eleven great-grandchildren”).

Consider the people most important to your loved one — nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, cousins, a fiancé, closest friends. Even if they were not blood relatives, you may wish to include these loved ones in the obituary. Nowadays, obituaries commonly include devoted caregivers, life-long friends, and even pets. 

The obituary typically is published at least a day or two before the funeral service will be held and provides the community with important service information. Include the dates, times, and locations of the visitation, funeral, burial, and/or memorial service. Also include the name of the funeral home so that others can contact them with any questions about the services or sympathy flowers. Be sure to indicate if services are private.  

Obituaries often request donations to a specific charity. There may be charities or organizations that were important to your loved one. Or perhaps the family would like to “pay it forward” by asking for donations to an organization that raises awareness about an illness. 

The family may wish to have people donate to memorial fund started at your loved one’s alma mater, or a fund to help cover funeral expenses. For any donation request, be sure to include the name of the charity or fund as well as an address or website where people can send donations.  

If the family prefers charitable donations or monetary contributions rather than flowers, include a phrase such as “In lieu of flowers,” followed by “please consider a donation to the American Heart Association,” “contributions suggested to the family,” or “the family is requesting financial assistance for the services.” 

A photo helps bring the obituary to life, so choose a photo that shows your loved one’s personality. A portrait or close-up of your loved one’s face typically works best. The photo can be recent or from their youth, it’s up to you. Some newspapers may even allow you to choose more than one for print. Be sure to check with the newspaper for any specific requirements.

If you are working with a funeral home, they will be able to assist you with formatting the photo and obituary and submitting to newspapers. If you’re having a hard time selecting just one photo, keep in mind that you likely will be able to add more photos and even video on the online version of the obituary.  

Want your loved one’s obituary to be extra special? Consider these tips from Legacy experts. 

According to obituary writing expert Susan Soper, the founder and author of ObitKit®, A Guide to Celebrating Your Life, the interesting and memorable obit is in the details: 

“Try to dig for the intimate details that will keep the person alive in memory: quirks, hobbies, favorite passions, oft-heard quotes, travels, food or unusual pursuits. It doesn’t matter if the person was a company president, an electrician, a cook or ballerina, everyone has a story to tell.  

“But that story doesn’t come together by itself.  Ask friends, children, parents, co-workers and spouses for details they recall and favor. How did the person look or dress? What was his daily routine? Where did she find most happiness? Be creative, look outside the box to find the personality traits and characteristics to recall.” 

Condolence and eulogy expert Florence Isaacs, author of My Deepest Sympathies: Meaningful Sentiments for Condolence Notes and Conversations, encourages obituary, eulogy, and sympathy card writers to reflect on what made this person unique: 

“Try to remember specific instances where she made a difference in the lives of others, in her profession or field and/or in the community. Instead of just listing her achievements, tell a little story about some of them. Keep an eye out for moments that speak eloquently of her humanity, kindness, zest for life or even her cranky disposition—whatever fits.  

“Did she take tango lessons or play poker in her eighties? Say so. Such information inspires people and helps them connect with the deceased. Before you sit down to write, take a day or so to think about what you want to say, and take notes as ideas come to you. Then get started.”